Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
