You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
