Buhtt sex?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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