fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
