Me too!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
