All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
