Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
