Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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