im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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