you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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