I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
