I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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