Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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