I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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