she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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