You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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