I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
