you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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