look no pants
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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