Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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