Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
