Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
