she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
