Where did you get a picture of my penis
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
