I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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