I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
