one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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