You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
