please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
