Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
