My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
