To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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