I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
another moral hangover. fuck.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
