I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
