Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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