im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
