i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
