Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
