You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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