come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
