And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
