Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
