Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
