youre lurking in front of me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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