I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
