You smell like stripper and shame
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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