is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
