He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
