Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it's like iHOP with fire
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
