Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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