Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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