i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
