Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
