Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
