that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
