he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
