they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
