my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
