I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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