If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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