I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
