Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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