Dual....:-)
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
